We don't get a lot of US internet content down here. It's "unavailable". I've been left high and dry as far as juicy gossip videos and useless information.
Today I'm missing out on the following clips:
Pitt and Jolie Really Over?
Brave Cat Clashes with Bear
'Price is Right' Guest Faints*
McConaughey Debuts Baby
Tourists Trapped in Machu Picchu Flood (actual big news here)
Lindsay Lohan's Father Arrested Again in NY*
Alito Caught Reacting to Obama Remarks?
'Idol' Contestant Scares Perry (while not technically embarrassing, this one is a little out of place since I enjoy neither 'Idol' nor Perry)
Rhianna's Fashion Faux Pas
Clinton's Franco-American 'Trip'*
Stamp May Sell for $350,000*
and finally...
Top 40 Celebs Over 40
* Embarrassing, but would watch.
Saturday, January 30
Thursday, January 21
Estadio in the darkio
Tuesday night, Frank took me out on a hot date and it was super fun. Not exaggerating on the super fun part. 50,000 people at Estadio San Marcos to see Metallica play their first ever show in Peru? Come on... it would have been un-American of us not to go.
Since you've all seen concert photos before, and I'm pretty sure even my mom could spot James Hetfield in a crowd, I'll show you what it's like to go to a big outdoor event here. Crappy camera (which is soon to be replaced with a spiffy one) aside, I've taken a liking to doing small things which I can safely say nobody else I know will get the chance to do in this lifetime. That being said, here I am. After Metallica, after the crowd cleared out, after midnight, I walked across the soccer field at Estadio San Marcos. Right before the concert, we had to walk past/through a whole lineup of mounted police. Now, I know better than to walk behind any horse, let alone these Gigantors. But not everyone is so smart. One horse started to tippy toe around a little, and then another, and then another, and before I knew it I found myself in the unique position of easily being able to head butt a police horse in the chest. Don't even ask me for a photo of that, because I will sooo give you a dirty look! Anyway, here I am by the sideline at center field. Olé, olé, olé, olé...
Little did I realize there was more walking in my near future. Here's the scene coming out of the venue. And like I said, most of the people were already gone.
Half an hour walking down the highway, then a fifteen minute ride standing up in that little white bus, followed by another fifteen minute walk before we found a cab driver who would take us anywhere close to home. He brought us to Miraflores (the district next to Barranco) where Frank and I drank two beers each and woofed down an entire pizza pie. We took a cab home, hung out a little more, and finally crashed around 4am.
Thanks, husband, for a night out that was a lotta, lotta fun. You rock.
Since you've all seen concert photos before, and I'm pretty sure even my mom could spot James Hetfield in a crowd, I'll show you what it's like to go to a big outdoor event here. Crappy camera (which is soon to be replaced with a spiffy one) aside, I've taken a liking to doing small things which I can safely say nobody else I know will get the chance to do in this lifetime. That being said, here I am. After Metallica, after the crowd cleared out, after midnight, I walked across the soccer field at Estadio San Marcos. Right before the concert, we had to walk past/through a whole lineup of mounted police. Now, I know better than to walk behind any horse, let alone these Gigantors. But not everyone is so smart. One horse started to tippy toe around a little, and then another, and then another, and before I knew it I found myself in the unique position of easily being able to head butt a police horse in the chest. Don't even ask me for a photo of that, because I will sooo give you a dirty look! Anyway, here I am by the sideline at center field. Olé, olé, olé, olé...
Little did I realize there was more walking in my near future. Here's the scene coming out of the venue. And like I said, most of the people were already gone.
Half an hour walking down the highway, then a fifteen minute ride standing up in that little white bus, followed by another fifteen minute walk before we found a cab driver who would take us anywhere close to home. He brought us to Miraflores (the district next to Barranco) where Frank and I drank two beers each and woofed down an entire pizza pie. We took a cab home, hung out a little more, and finally crashed around 4am.
Thanks, husband, for a night out that was a lotta, lotta fun. You rock.
Sunday, January 3
Concrete, ceramic tile, wood, and glass
Okay, so I know it's lame that I am barely writing lately. There are five half-posts waiting to be completed. I keep starting, then losing direction, or the idea fire goes out and I forget what I wanted to say. While I organize, I thought I could tell you what you're looking at in these photos. I have a story about my bathroom so you'll see that soon, and I don't spend that much time in the kitchen so I'll get to that when I get to it.
Some basic information about the place:
Solid concrete
10' ceilings
No HVAC, screens, ceiling fans, or hot tap water
Here we have the entryway. The front door is at the bottom of the stairs, and this red door leads to the patio and half bath. The window is made of brown plate glass and looks out over the little courtyard in the third photo.
When you walk up the stairs and turn around, you get this view of the apartment. The bedroom is on the right. The office is on the left. Down the hall are the bathroom, living room, and guest room/play room. Originally I was going to put my desk in there, but I like working in the living room and having a separate space for the kids to go when I need to get things done.
And finally, the view from the bedroom.
I can't wait to tell you about the bathroom. I'm still baffled over the way we get hot water for the shower. You'll see what I mean. Soon.
Some basic information about the place:
Solid concrete
10' ceilings
No HVAC, screens, ceiling fans, or hot tap water
Here we have the entryway. The front door is at the bottom of the stairs, and this red door leads to the patio and half bath. The window is made of brown plate glass and looks out over the little courtyard in the third photo.
When you walk up the stairs and turn around, you get this view of the apartment. The bedroom is on the right. The office is on the left. Down the hall are the bathroom, living room, and guest room/play room. Originally I was going to put my desk in there, but I like working in the living room and having a separate space for the kids to go when I need to get things done.
And finally, the view from the bedroom.
I can't wait to tell you about the bathroom. I'm still baffled over the way we get hot water for the shower. You'll see what I mean. Soon.
Friday, January 1
Popping bottles, deterring thieves
Here's your favorite expat at midnight. Already a little toasted, fumbling with the cork wire. No worries, though. The cork hit the front steps of the restaurant across the street.
Next to that restaurant, which happens to have excellent food and fresh pineapple juice, is The Jesus Store. It's a great place to fill all of your religious and/or shamanistic needs. Candles, giant glass-enclosed statues of the virgin Mary, scented waters, rosaries, incense, herbal soap, and the like. There happens to be a very old, recently restored church on our block, so The Jesus Store always has customers and the owner seems to know her stuff. She suggested hanging this on our door to bring goodness and prosperity in the new year. The small wooden cross behind it was there when I moved in. I wouldn't necessarily hang a cross on my front door, but far be it from me to move (or remove) one that's already in place. Have a look.
While you're at it, check out the closure and lock system on the front door of our apartment. Burglars would be wise to steer clear. A poorly coordinated horizontal slide of any one of these metal pieces could result in an excruciating pinch on the finger. Ye intruders beware...
Next to that restaurant, which happens to have excellent food and fresh pineapple juice, is The Jesus Store. It's a great place to fill all of your religious and/or shamanistic needs. Candles, giant glass-enclosed statues of the virgin Mary, scented waters, rosaries, incense, herbal soap, and the like. There happens to be a very old, recently restored church on our block, so The Jesus Store always has customers and the owner seems to know her stuff. She suggested hanging this on our door to bring goodness and prosperity in the new year. The small wooden cross behind it was there when I moved in. I wouldn't necessarily hang a cross on my front door, but far be it from me to move (or remove) one that's already in place. Have a look.
While you're at it, check out the closure and lock system on the front door of our apartment. Burglars would be wise to steer clear. A poorly coordinated horizontal slide of any one of these metal pieces could result in an excruciating pinch on the finger. Ye intruders beware...
Thursday, December 31
I can't wait to find out what 2010 smells like
Damn this living in a developing nation. I have to walk around all day long smelling like cocoa butter and juicy mangoes. It's the worst.
Happy New Year, everybody. May 2010 bring you joy and prosperity, and may your only suffering be due to my kind of problems.
One more thing. I thought two girlfriends of mine would be interested in the following exchange, which occurred at one of my recent fantastic gatherings:
Frank: I want to go see Avatar in 3-D.
Karen: Huh?
Javier (Frank's cousin): There's no way Karen will go to that. She's too cool to wear the glasses.
Frank and Javier laugh. Heartily. The mandatory two-second translation grace period everyone gives me elapses, and I grin and bat my eyelashes in mock amusement. Sooo damn funny.
Happy New Year, everybody. May 2010 bring you joy and prosperity, and may your only suffering be due to my kind of problems.
One more thing. I thought two girlfriends of mine would be interested in the following exchange, which occurred at one of my recent fantastic gatherings:
Frank: I want to go see Avatar in 3-D.
Karen: Huh?
Javier (Frank's cousin): There's no way Karen will go to that. She's too cool to wear the glasses.
Frank and Javier laugh. Heartily. The mandatory two-second translation grace period everyone gives me elapses, and I grin and bat my eyelashes in mock amusement. Sooo damn funny.
Wednesday, December 30
No, no, no. Yes! No! Okay. Yes!
Yesterday:
1. Frank and I decide to check out the beauty salon down the street that supposedly offers 20-minute chair massage for seven dollars. We enter what, here, is called a salon. Frank asks about the massages, then we sit and wait. Ten minutes. I glance repeatedly at the a row of stylists working on haircuts. I examine the hostess, because you can tell everything you need to know about your salon (or potential salon) by checking out the person working the front. I then create a mini montage of blissful moments with Heather, my stylist back home at Salon Rouge. I miss her. I see her brushing my hair as we sit together in a breezy meadow. I see her running her comb and flat iron through my untamed locks. She leans down and smiles at me, and gives my bangs a light-as-air spritzing of $30 hairspray.
Snap back to reality. A girl in platform espadrilles asks us to follow her down the block to the salon's other location where, supposedly, massage grows on trees. I give Frank a skeptical look, and we follow.
2. Location #2. Walls are hospital green. Manicure girl is a teenager. White eyelet pillow covers in the waiting area. No chance anyone here will be touching my glorious bod. I give Frank the NO look right away, but he wants to see more.
We wait another five minutes, and the hostess (or perhaps grosstess is a more appropriate title) walks over and asks me and Frank who wants to go first. Frank looks at me, and I tell the girl we want to go together. We've been telling them all along that we just want a dual massage. Two clients, two employees, two chairs, one room. Or two rooms, even. We want to be efficient. Back rubs, then home for cocktails. It's vacation week. The grosstess says there is only one person available. I tell Frank it's time to go.
3. We leave location #2 and walk homeward. One of us suggests grabbing a cold beer, so we do an about-face and head for the bridge and ravine, and the highest up of all the restaurant balconies on the side of the cliff. We wait 20 minutes for our bumbling waiter to bring two warm bottles of Cuzqueña. He asks if they're cold enough. Um, no, stupid. We decide this is the third strike on our quest for afternoon fun, and head back home.
4. On the walk, Frank suggests we give fun another go. He mentions that he and his cousins recently had a really nice lunch at Javier, which has a few nice seating decks and yummy food. We walk back down the ravine, then up three flights of marble stairs to the restaurant. Deck seating is spectacular. Overlooking the ocean, warm sun, fresh breeze, huge yellow canvas umbrellas, cold beer, tasty chicha and cancha, and fabulous ceviche. We discuss at great length the more comical points of the day's misfortunes. And then the unthinkable. Frank spots a black cat sunning itself across the deck. I offer to chase it away, but he declines. The cat inches closer, and Frank starts throwing cancha at it. The cat lies down, and at that very instant I turn Frank's attention to a cluster of shamrocks growing in a nearby flower pot. The cat takes this as its cue to vamoose, and Frank accepts the shamrocks as enough good to combat the evils of black cat witchcraft.
5. Back at home, Frank and I continue discussing the day. One of the kids is carrying around a book. I walk out of the room, and as I re-enter, I see a pressed four leaf clover on the floor. I'm baffled. Where did this come from? All I could think of was Mom. I look at the book, now lying on the coffee table. It's Thoreau's Walden. Mom sent me her copy in a care package. The pieces come together. Mom can find a four leaf clover in a cement parking lot in the dead of winter. It's one of her cosmic gifts. Where does she store her lucky finds? In between the pages of the books on her shelves. I pick up the clover and show it to Frank, and he goes wild. The day is saved. Now the crummy parts are just a funny joke shared between husband and wife, and the amazing meal is a true highlight of our time here.
Isn't it funny... sometimes you have no idea what kind of impact you're having in someone's life at any given moment. Pay attention to what you are doing. At your job, with your family, when you're alone, with friends, or in the company of strangers with whom you assume you have nothing in common. It's all connected. But you know this.
1. Frank and I decide to check out the beauty salon down the street that supposedly offers 20-minute chair massage for seven dollars. We enter what, here, is called a salon. Frank asks about the massages, then we sit and wait. Ten minutes. I glance repeatedly at the a row of stylists working on haircuts. I examine the hostess, because you can tell everything you need to know about your salon (or potential salon) by checking out the person working the front. I then create a mini montage of blissful moments with Heather, my stylist back home at Salon Rouge. I miss her. I see her brushing my hair as we sit together in a breezy meadow. I see her running her comb and flat iron through my untamed locks. She leans down and smiles at me, and gives my bangs a light-as-air spritzing of $30 hairspray.
Snap back to reality. A girl in platform espadrilles asks us to follow her down the block to the salon's other location where, supposedly, massage grows on trees. I give Frank a skeptical look, and we follow.
2. Location #2. Walls are hospital green. Manicure girl is a teenager. White eyelet pillow covers in the waiting area. No chance anyone here will be touching my glorious bod. I give Frank the NO look right away, but he wants to see more.
We wait another five minutes, and the hostess (or perhaps grosstess is a more appropriate title) walks over and asks me and Frank who wants to go first. Frank looks at me, and I tell the girl we want to go together. We've been telling them all along that we just want a dual massage. Two clients, two employees, two chairs, one room. Or two rooms, even. We want to be efficient. Back rubs, then home for cocktails. It's vacation week. The grosstess says there is only one person available. I tell Frank it's time to go.
3. We leave location #2 and walk homeward. One of us suggests grabbing a cold beer, so we do an about-face and head for the bridge and ravine, and the highest up of all the restaurant balconies on the side of the cliff. We wait 20 minutes for our bumbling waiter to bring two warm bottles of Cuzqueña. He asks if they're cold enough. Um, no, stupid. We decide this is the third strike on our quest for afternoon fun, and head back home.
4. On the walk, Frank suggests we give fun another go. He mentions that he and his cousins recently had a really nice lunch at Javier, which has a few nice seating decks and yummy food. We walk back down the ravine, then up three flights of marble stairs to the restaurant. Deck seating is spectacular. Overlooking the ocean, warm sun, fresh breeze, huge yellow canvas umbrellas, cold beer, tasty chicha and cancha, and fabulous ceviche. We discuss at great length the more comical points of the day's misfortunes. And then the unthinkable. Frank spots a black cat sunning itself across the deck. I offer to chase it away, but he declines. The cat inches closer, and Frank starts throwing cancha at it. The cat lies down, and at that very instant I turn Frank's attention to a cluster of shamrocks growing in a nearby flower pot. The cat takes this as its cue to vamoose, and Frank accepts the shamrocks as enough good to combat the evils of black cat witchcraft.
5. Back at home, Frank and I continue discussing the day. One of the kids is carrying around a book. I walk out of the room, and as I re-enter, I see a pressed four leaf clover on the floor. I'm baffled. Where did this come from? All I could think of was Mom. I look at the book, now lying on the coffee table. It's Thoreau's Walden. Mom sent me her copy in a care package. The pieces come together. Mom can find a four leaf clover in a cement parking lot in the dead of winter. It's one of her cosmic gifts. Where does she store her lucky finds? In between the pages of the books on her shelves. I pick up the clover and show it to Frank, and he goes wild. The day is saved. Now the crummy parts are just a funny joke shared between husband and wife, and the amazing meal is a true highlight of our time here.
Isn't it funny... sometimes you have no idea what kind of impact you're having in someone's life at any given moment. Pay attention to what you are doing. At your job, with your family, when you're alone, with friends, or in the company of strangers with whom you assume you have nothing in common. It's all connected. But you know this.
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