The sky was dark but you were clear. Could you feel my footsteps?

Tonight I took the recycling out to the curb, and then I was walking through the back yard so I could dump today's compost goodies onto the heap. It's a fantastic night out there. Light jacket required, air is crisp and quiet, and the crescent moon is bright. There are also a lot of stars visible. The sky is that dark, almost pitchy midnight blue. Just beautiful. I love stepping on the ground on a night like this, because I can actually feel nature. Aaah. I had fun.

* Great Lake Swimmers, Your Rocky Spine.
I first heard this song on Weeds, one of my favorite shows. It reminds me of Frank. See it performed live here, and try to ignore the doofy host... although I like how he describes GLS's music as "ambient folk". Touché, marble mouth.

We've got womens aplenty going on this round of Challenge. Everyone's taking inspiration from their favorite songs, and this one is definitely on my top ten. Hey, I have an idea, let's count how many days it takes someone to whip out the Simon Le Bon. Keep tabs on all the lovelies... sisters, cousins, friends... Liz, Jennifer, Toni, Darcie, and Jen.

Self sufficience please! And get to work

Big news. Nico is now going pee pee in the potty. It's the moment I've been waiting for after two months of him standing in front of the kiddie potty, shrugging his shoulders and saying, "Mommy, it's a no come-a out..." Finally we have liftoff, and he's been fairly consistent the past two days. Once again, I am all swelled up with pride. I love seeing the kids taking charge of what needs to be done. Go, babies, go! Okay, now grow up smart and get to college!

One other big happening is my decision to return to work. Again. I kind of miss it. Like Toni, I've been wrestling with which next step to take. I know I want to return to school, but I would also enjoy a normal paycheck. Since one of my more immediate goals is to get us back into our own space, job wins out and school will get its chance once we decide where to live. Job hunting (uh, especially now) just takes time and effort, both of which I have plenty, so bring it! Exclamation point!

* Bjork, Army of Me

Your scarf it was apricot

My cousin and sister have given props to my Twitter profile photo. This has made me happy, thank you, and I'm going to tell you the secret to that photo right here and now. While, much like yourselves, I am just naturally good-looking, I credit the high degree of goodness of that photo to fortunate wardrobe selection and interesting backdrop. Also, it was taken during lunch at a Steven Starr restaurant, so I was in a particularly good mood with the yummy food and cocktails and whatnot.

Completely unrelated, Frank found some scrapple in the freezer and he had no idea what it was. Seriously. His mom is a butcher, and he hadn't heard of it. I explained it's kind of breakfasty and mysterious.

Karen: It's meat... along with whatever other parts were around... picture that all ground up together and pressed into a loaf -- so it's meat only in the technical sense.

Frank: Is it good? Would you eat it?

Karen: Yes, actually, it does taste good. I have eaten it, but I don't anymore only because I know what's in it. I also stopped eating it because my brother calls it "scrape-ple" and that grosses me out.

Frank: Sounds good! I'm gonna fry some up.

* Carly Simon, You're So Vain.

** The frying wasn't properly done; I forgot to tell him to dredge it in flour first. He thought it was gross, but he said he'd try it again if I will cook it. **

The night is dark but the sidewalks bright, and lined with the light of the living

I just have to say this so everyone knows. There is important news to be heard, and La Rivera is about to speak it!

1. Bangs are my thing. I think I may have bangs for the rest of my life. Short bangs, swoopy bangs, even sheepdog bangs for a minute. I'll try anything. And usually I'll try anything several times before I decide whether or not I can really groove with it. Have you all seen my cousin Jennifer's post from the other day with Joni Mitchell on the Johnny Cash Show? All I can say is, guess who is going blond on her next trip to Salon Rouge. Come on, guess!

2. This is the actual important thing I want you all to remember. When I die, I would like to be cremated. If, sometime in the future, you are attending my memorial service and you are seeing my actual dead body and admiring my still-fabulous hairstyle, then you know somehow, somewhere, someone has royally fucked it up. All you should be seeing is a 20x30" photograph of me in my late 20s or early 30s, preferably one of those chic silver gel prints. I'm not even sure I want the simple yet beautiful urn present at the party, because I ultimately want the ashes scattered over a yet-undecided location. My husband, children and any other family member who wishes may keep a small vial (preferably necklace pendant size) of me, which I will order to be buried along with them when they die, or cremated along with their own remains when the time comes.

I'm really glad we had this talk. Sleep well!

*Bruce Springsteen, Tenth Avenue Freeze-Out. Released August, 1975.

Can't say much of anything that's new

So I'll bore you with one more thing about one of the kids. At night I always put Liv to bed first, and then Nico goes to sleep about 20 or 30 minutes later. I pick him up and hug him, wrap him in his blanket, and lay him down in his bed. He gets himself all comfy and then I sit next to the bed for a few minutes and pat his back. Then I kiss him on the cheek and say, "Goodnight, Mommy's special boy." He then repeats, "Mommy's special boy." He turns his head the other way, snuggles his blanket, and closes his eyes. Done.

Tonight was a little different. I was patting his back, and before I could say my usual line, he leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. Then he put his little hand on the side of my face and whispered, "Nico's special Mommy."

All the stress of two kids in diapers... all the frustration of the terrible twos... the gray hair, the imperfect body, the short term memory loss... all completely worth it. 100%.

One little side note. I love Carole King, and I will always remember one day at Mom-Mom's house when she and I both lived in that building in Collingswood. I must have been about 25 years old. Mom and Aunt Jean were at Mom-Mom's place, so I went over and Mom-Mom put on Tapestry. The three of them sang most of the words to the entire album. I'll always remember that day, and think of it whenever I hear Carole King.

* Carole King, So Far Away. Released March 1971.

Love can mend your life but love can break your heart

It's true. Love can break your heart. In a good way. My kids do it to me almost every single day.

So in case you didn't guess, I'm super in love with my little family. So many surprises are happening with the kids. Nico says new things every day. Full sentences. Just... blam! sentences! And jokes. And observations.

Then tonight, lo, there was much cheering. Olivia and I were sitting on the floor, and she looked at the soccer ball, and then back at me. "Ball." I handed it to her. She stood up and walked with it, then put it down, and then... she kicked it. On and on she went for 10 minutes or so. "Ball." and then kick. As for Nico, he is the best game watching buddy now that he knows when to throw his hands up and shout "Gooool!" and when to look confused and say "Oh no, soccer ball." He came up with that line all by himself.

These things might not sound that earth shattering from the outside, but trust me when I tell you I feel my heart catch fire with every step those two creatures take. I look at them and I'm amazed. I love them so much, I could just crumble. They are monumental, and they are my world. I gave them life, and they returned the favor.

* Police, Message in a Bottle. Released 1979.