Tuesday, March 31

Speaking of the great state of New Jersey...

I love NJ. Everybody has their own opinion, and mine is that Jersey rules. I always hear people talking about how they want to leave NJ and move to California or Florida (which I do not get at all, earthquakes and alligators, hello?), or insert any other state name here. Back when we were looking for our first home and debating the possible charms of neighboring states, Husband and I discussed New Jersey and all her glory. We threw an impromptu state slogan contest between ourselves.

2nd runner up: Ain't nothin' wrong with Jersey.
1st runner up: New Jersey. Don't even front, you know you love it.
Winner: Don't mess with Texas? Don't f*ck with Jersey.

These are all pretty much a joint effort. Looking back, maybe now I'd pick the first runner up to win. With a little tweaking, we could probably even cut it down to one sentence.

Monday, March 30

36-ish hours

Tomorrow night, Husband will depart Jorge Chávez International Airport and fly home to the great state of New Jersey, arriving Wednesday morning and probably showing up at the front door some time around noon. Shazam! I just want to say thanks to all of you for keeping me in such great company for the past three months. Everyone from NJ to Kathmandu (really) was checking in on me, and that makes me feel super special. So thanks, everybody, for all the great energy. You're the best.

For Franky, I'm wishing safe travels. Wednesday I'll probably be looking out the window every 30 seconds to see if he's here yet. The kids know he's coming back, it's really cute how excited they are. I'll be happy to have him right next to me again. I've missed him so much, and I just wanna tell him to his face how much I love him. He'll be all tan and shaggy with a super Inca vibe -- cannot wait to see him. One of our first orders of business will be to decide when to take an overnight out of town together. That promises to be some good stuff right there.

Oh, and... freelance is back on, but I'm having a little problem with one thing. The business is registered under Magic Number Studio, only that doesn't quite fit now that there are four of us. That name was chosen right after Nico was born. I'm debating a switch. If it's going to be official, it might as well be accurate.

Dinner party

Here's what's up. Going out is awesome. I love being a human.

That is all.

Sunday, March 29

Thoughts on Sunday (this might technically qualify as rambling)

There are so many things on my mind today, it would take me hours to get it all out. Mostly I'm thinking about Husband returning on Wednesday, but there's so much more. Right now I'm a little taken aback by how much I love my kids. I look at these little creatures I grew inside my own body, and they're amazing and they're walking, talking, thinking, and doing. To oversimplify, it's profound. I can't say what I expected out of parenthood, but this is just so much more. I've changed as a person in ways I can't even begin to describe. I'm trying to strike a balance between what's happening inside my head and what I'm actually doing in the world. I have this new purpose, but I'm not quite sure exactly what it is yet.

One thing I've been struggling with is the way I have missed Frank while he has been gone. All in all, I consider myself to be a fairly independent person. I would never stop him from doing what he wants to do, because I know everyone has their own life to live and because he is always equally supportive of me. I proved myself as a provider by going back to work. I (sometimes grudgingly) took care of two kids in diapers, and everything was fine for the most part. Only I would have these moment where I looked around and remembered my husband was gone, and I realized how truly important -- how necessary -- he is in my life. It was mostly the little things he does that I often say I appreciate but really take for granted.

As an adult woman, part of me wonders if it's okay to depend on someone else so much. I shifted the focus away from myself and my career, and put it on raising my young children. Feeling like I've lost parts of myself has been really difficult lately. Seeing what has happened is the greater part of the battle for me, and that makes it easier to filter through things and pick up where I left off. Sometimes the answers seem so elementary, and other times it's like standing hips-deep in a pool of I don't know what the fuck.

That's about as far along as I'm willing to get today. I'll just wrap it up by saying that I'm not too dense to see what a beautiful life I have. Truthfully, though, I'm someone who needs to think about things, and that's the part that's not always so pretty. Like, who sits down and figures out their life in one afternoon? Anyone? If so, send me some pointers because I'm ready to get back to business.

Saturday, March 28

It's not First Friday, it's Last Saturday

Well. The last weekend night before Frank comes back. Weird. Hard to believe it's been three months.

Today he and I were talking and he said he has mixed emotions about leaving Peru. Understandable. I'm halfway doubting he'll be home on Wednesday. It's a classic Frank move to go on a trip and wind up staying an extra week or two. The last time he was in South America, he called me from his mom's when he should have been on his flight home, and sounded genuinely shocked that I was shocked he was staying another ten days. Um... what?

This is just part of Frank being Frank, so in a sick way I find it endearing. Just like I'm sure he'll want to go spend a few days with his friends, which is also fine. But only after I get all my paybacks. Looking forward to sleeping in for the first week. Past 8am, even. Dare to dream.

Friday, March 27

Plazm 'gasm

Okay, don't tell Frank (he will probably read this anyway) but I went and bought myself a couple more items before he gets home. Since I always bust his chops about buying random shit when we are trying to actually save money, I limit my own spending to be fair. It was nothing too expensive, just a couple of art magazines featuring works by Milton Glaser and Raymond Pettibon. One of them, Plazm #28, came in the mail today. I was so excited looking through it, I had to make a conscious effort to stop saying "Ohhh... oh!" out loud. The seller was kind enough to include all the inserts in pristine condition, including a 9x7" sticker. Seriously, what makes your day like a big sticker? Nothing? Right. This one reads 'terror' in large, plain text, and it's magenta on magenta. Yea-yah.

So there's a good Glaser cover, but mostly I got this issue because I've been a Pettibon enthusiast for many years and I get all goofy about picking up little things here and there. I wouldn't say I have many prized possessions, but yes, I do get hopped up on the occasional special object. I collect hardcover first editions of David Sedaris books, and I have three different sets of vintage juice glasses. To give you my idea of awesome juice glasses, one set are opaque kelly green goblets lined with milk glass. I'm crazy about them. Then there are my bits of Pettibon. A couple of random record covers, books, and magazines. A poster from his 1999 show at the Philadelphia Museum of Art, which I went to see with my friend who stole me the poster. I'm always tempted to have it framed, but that's not what you do with Pettibon, so I will just keep hanging it with push pins. Bonus points if you just got that Glaser reference.

So there, we have come full circle on tonight's art lesson. Sleep tight on that.