I have the worst headache in recent memory, so tonight I took one of the painkillers I saved from when Olivia was born. These things come in handy from time to time, and they last a lot longer when I A) hide the bottle from my hubby and B) write on the bottle the number of pills left inside. 'B' actually helps keep me from popping all the pills at once (there's like four left in there, big whoop) on really difficult days.
Oh yay, Obama speech. I can't take this stuff tonight. Hang on a minute while I try to find some "Flight of the Conchords" on demand. Poo. No Jermaine and Bret. WTF. Alright, "Sex and the City" it is. Yay. But I can only stomach one episode tonight.
Since my chats with Jen have fallen by the wayside today, I'll tell you about some other word-related happening... my stay-at-home moms group's monthly newsletter. Every month there's a "Getting to Know You" page whereon two club members are spotlighted and they both fill out a questionnaire. Last month I was one of the participants. One of the questions was "What is your dream job for your children?", to which I answered: Nico - gourmet chef, and Olivia - artist. So far there have been three other spotlightees and all of them have said their dream job for their kids would be "whatever makes them happy". I think this goes without saying, so I took the time to come up with an actual creative answer to the question instead of using the obvious blanket response. Is it wrong of me to be disappointed that the other moms didn't do the same?
Now I know for a fact that my mom couldn't ever possibly be disappointed in us if she knew we were going after what we want. When I was little she actually said to me, "You could work at Burger King for the rest of your life and I'd be proud and love you just the same. Be what you want to be and do what makes you happy." It's one of the things that has always stuck in my mind and helped me listen to my own heart. So much so that I tried to use it on The Hub back when he was just The Boy. When he was trying really, really hard to start working in New York, either right before or right after graduation, I tried to say the same words to him and let him know I supported him 100%. I was trying to give him a pep talk and got as far as "Burger King" when he cut me off and said, "Take that sh*t out of your head right now. I'm never working at some punkass Burger King bullsh*t. F*ck that. NYC, baby, I'm a city dog!" That's Frank for you.
So I guess for some, any kind of reassurance involving a fast food chain is the spiritual equivalent of a backwards shove down a flight of stairs. The point is that I
meant well. All I could do after that was grumble to myself. I guess some people want to hear what they already know to be true, and that gives them all the power they need. Some people are looking for something more specific. I used to think I knew which one of those I was... and now I'm not so sure. Maybe the point is that whatever you choose, it should be your heart's desire whether it's flipping burgers or drawing or raising children. You have to have heart to give heart, I guess. I must be surrounded by loving people then, 'cause I think my heart just grew three sizes. Aah, look at that, my headache is gone!