I just love it

I'm feeling sooo holidayish. I missed this feeling last year (but for a really good reason :D). I feel much more back on track. I even went out this morning to do our pollyanna shopping and *what!* it wasn't even that crowded. Took me maybe an hour and a half to make three stops and get back home. Now I'm not saying I've got a huge tree up and decorations everywhere. No. I put a few things on the mantle, strung out some white lights, put a wreath on the wall, and I've been burning my christmas wreath-scented Yankee candle. I just love those candles. No need for an actual tree, don't have to have real peppermint hot chocolate bubbling on the stove, and no need to have cookies baking in the oven. Well, wait... yes, yes I do still need the cookies in the oven. I've been baking them like crazy lately and I picked up another bag of Ghirardelli chips yesterday, so tonight will be another cookiefest. In fact, I'm making the dough as we speak.

I think it was after I got the hell out of my 20s that I really started to see some beautiful things about life. And even though I hate the materialistic part of this season, in the past few years even all the gross commercialism doesn't seem that bad. Being in my 30s is one of my favorite things. My 30th birthday was one of the coolest days I've lived so far. Waking up in Paris... real cantaloupe, baguettes with cheese, and fresh pink grapefruit juice for breakfast... going to the top of the Eiffel Tower... French onion soup, chicken, avocado and wine in a little café... seeing military guards with machine guns strolling casually through Gare du Norde. We took the train to Brussels, made a transfer, and drank beers on the train on the way to Amsterdam. We threw our backpacks down in the hotel room and went out bar hopping and, well, you can guess what we were doobing -- I, I mean DOing. DOing. You can guess what we were doing the next couple of days. Heh, heh. Anyway I think Jen's upcoming trip to Paris keeps reminding me how that trip holds some of my most favorite memories. Not just because I was celebrating leaving what was probably the toughest decade of my life, but because I really felt like a whole new person.

There have been a lot of big, big changes in my life since that milestone birthday, and I've loved every one of them. I appreciate my family and friends in new ways, and I enjoy my own life more than ever before. I'm looking forward to cooking that turkey on Christmas Day, and I'm excited to have Mom, Herb, Franny and Heather coming to share the afternoon with us. I'm so excited that tonight I made a practice dinner of sorts... my first roast pork tenderloin, mashed potatoes, mushroom gravy (yes, mushrooms, my former nemesis), and caesar salad. It was fantastic. And now the cookies. Mostly they're for Christmas day. But rest assured some of my good soldiers won't make it to the big day. God bless you, cookies, every one.

A good day

This was just a really good day. After we left the doctor's office I realized one very important one-year-old's milestone I had overlooked -- facing the car seat to the front! While we were parked at the post office I made a quick switcheroo and Nico absolutely loved it. He loves to look at mirrors and knows how to find other people by looking at a certain angle. We kept smiling at each other in the rear view, it was so nice to look up and see his chubby little face. It's also much easier to hand him his puffs now.

My little chunky monkey weighs 23 1/2 pounds. We gave him a little Cars fold-out sofa for his birthday, and he immediately took to lounging on it like a pro. We made a bunch of stops to run errands today, and Nico was so good the whole time. Three people told me my belly looks huge, and asked if I am carrying twins. They were kind enough to add that my belly is the only thing that looked big :D But honestly I think it's just the shirt I have on today. And when I say I'm due in April, that sounds so far off I guess. It just makes me laugh, because everyone comments on how busy I'll be. Darn right!

Once we finally got back home and had a late lunch, I gave Nico some birthday cake and then he took a short nap. Today we said bye-bye to bottles and got on the sippy cup full time, and he did great at nap time. I got some work done, and tonight I sat down around 10:15 to finish everything when I got an email from my sister Kathy saying not to rush getting the files done for tomorrow. Yessss. I am so tired from today that I really didn't feel like working. Now I can finish everything tomorrow night while Frank is out at George and Irene's housewarming party. The baby is sound asleep, as I plan to be within the next 30 minutes. Having him cry it out last week has made things much easier. He had a sippy before bed, and when I put him in the crib he fussed a tiny bit and drifted off. So yeah, this has been a good day. I'd even go so far as to call it a great day. Nighty night!

Birthday Boy

Today is Nico's first birthday! Happy Birthday Nico!

We've got a full day ahead... Nico's one year check-up at the doctor, going to the post office and dry cleaner and pharmacy, and most importantly a stop at Toys R Us to pick out Nico's birthday gift. Hopefully we'll make it to the supermarket somewhere in there too, but that might have to wait til tonight. Of course I have work waiting to be done later tonight, but it's nothing too stressful, just setting up some business cards and finalizing files.

This has been a calm week, and it's been nice. We went to get Nico's picture with Santa on Tuesday. He had his serious face on for the picture, then he started crying. After we were done, we were sitting on the bench behind Santa's house and Santa wasn't busy so he came out to talk to Nico. Of course Nico started smiling at him then, it was really cute.

So... I've got a little oatmeal brain going on this morning so I don't have anything too creative to say. Just gotta get us both dressed and out the door by 8:30, but first I have to finish my coffee real quick and get Nico to finish his bottle. I've been more organized lately and I have to admit it makes things so much easier. Everyone has clean clothes, clean sippy cups and dishes are sitting in the kitchen, and I got my shower last night so all I have to do is throw my hair back and put on a little make-up, change a diaper, and we're off!

Keepin' cozy

I love to turn up the heat. I'm just not the "put on a sweater around the house" type of girl. There's a reason God invented the modern heating system. I'm not a total energy hog. When I leave the house, I turn the thermostat down. As soon as I return, though, I make it comfortable.

I do have the excuse that we have a drafty front door, and the heat pump sucks that cooler air right up through the living room. The bedroom windows aren't that much better, but those rooms are definitely warmer. I bought some insulator goodies that I just haven't put up yet. And sure, I feel slightly guilty putting the heater up up up up... but it's so cold outside and my bones just can't take it. Hopefully next year we will be able to replace our rickety old heater/ac unit with a shiny new one. Til that happens, I will just have to deal with the slightly higher energy bills. It's ok. As long as I'm cozy I don't really mind.

You may have a child even if you don't have kids

I've always joked with Frank that he's not my husband (or boyfriend, depending on the year), he's my child. I'm not sure if all women feel the same way about the men in their lives, but I know at least a few friends who do. They act helpless when you ask them to put their clothes in the hamper, or conveniently and consistently forget how to put things in the dishwasher, and insist on hanging their wet towels everywhere but the on the rack. There are also the bigger things, like paying the bills. Ok, fine, you make the lion's share of the money. But I am the one who has to figure out where it needs to go. The only thing Frank pays himself is his student loan, but only after he asks me to put the right amount of money into his checking account... even though he could do that himself.

It doesn't matter if you don't have actual kids. If you've got a man, chances are you've already got yourself a child.

Right now, Frank is sulking in our bedroom while his dinner plate sits on the kitchen counter. He had a little temper tantrum, about which I told him I didn't give a crap. Nothing new, nothing big, and these days things like that have little to no effect on me. If you want to leave your dinner on the counter instead of enjoying it, that's your thing. If you can't digest properly while answering a question about artwork, that's really your problem and not mine. I'm eating my dinner. And if you were 7 instead of 37 the end result would be exactly the same... you would be in your room without your supper. In a way we both have what we want, and sometimes sorely miss -- time alone. He busts on me for not wanting to move because I like our family being so close together in the condo. Even still, I like to have time to myself.

I remember one day I was talking with two girlfriends and a guy friend, and we girls were commiserating on the man-as-child issue. And the guy friend said to us, "Well, they act like that because you all keep taking care of them." How true. Maybe sometimes a woman can't help but do what comes naturally. And after the man goes out into the world and works all day, maybe all he wants when he comes home is a little nurturing to refresh his soul. I just went into the bedroom and he's watching a "Planet Earth" dvd with the lights off, and he started telling me how this one part was about the smallest cat in the world, and that I should look out the window because the moon and the stars are really bright tonight. It was so funny... just like when Nico is having a tantrum and then two seconds later we've both forgotten about it and we're rolling on the floor laughing. So I guess we're all pretty much the same in this house. Nobody wants to have people they love mad at them, we all just want to be happy and get hugs.

How to tell your kid is turning one

There are a few everyday signs that your child is getting older. First, you notice the batteries in all his toys are dying at the same time. That happy little musical light-up plush sunshine now plays the saddest version ever of "The Farmer in the Dell".

Second, it comes time to try giving him some cow's milk. This is one of those hit or miss moments as far as we're concerned. Neither Frank nor I drink regular milk. We like Silk, preferably vanilla or chocolate or the two mixed together. The three of us eat cheese and yogurt, and we're fine with those. Nico had a few ounces of cow's milk over the course of the day on Monday, and by dinner time he was rubbing his little face and horking snot clumps. Along with milk at one year, you are also free (or can feel more relaxed about) giving the baby other things like tomatoes, citrus, and berries. Last night he had his first taste of Grandmom's tomato sauce. Yum yum!

You also notice your kid doing some of the cutest stuff ever. Opening a book and "reading" aloud, turning his back to you when he puts something in his mouth (since you can't see what he's doing if he can't see you), interacting with other kids, and running to you for hugs... all super squishy cute. Along with those come some tough ones. No more sitting still for you to give him saline nose spray and wipe the boogies away, pushing your hands away while you're feeding him even though he's only had three spoons of his lunch, and learning that he can control you if you're not careful. Jung wrote about the infant's desire for power, and I think he was on to something. Even when they're little, kids definitely aren't stupid. They don't know any better sometimes, but I tend to think every baby has a little Stewy Griffin in him.

As one year draws to a close, you get to see how far your kid has come from being that sleepy, sit-still baby you brought home from the hospital. You also see there is so much more to come, and find yourself waiting for the next big accomplishments. Even though it's a few days away, I just want to send out a little early happy birthday to my Poppo, my Chiquitín, my Mr. Chin Chin Chin. This has been the best year of my life.