In Rainbows

The new Radiohead is currently my favorite album. I was flipping channels earlier today and they had a really cool live show on Music in HD. MHD always has on something good. Be it live Gorillaz with special guests aplenty, weird random videos, or today's Radiohead performance, they have some of the coolest bands around doing some of the coolest stuff.

Picture a recording studio. Picture five super talented guys playing their many instruments. Now picture that big window you'd normally see the sound engineers sitting behind, and replace them with a live audience. That was the show. A dark studio setting, band completely closed off, and a small group of fans content to sit back fifty feet behind long curtains and two picture window-sized sheets of glass. It was interesting and I loved it.

It took me a few months to find the time to really listen to "In Rainbows" but it was worth the wait. And you know what, the other day my mom asked me if I had read the new David Sedaris book. And I wondered aloud, "Which new David Sedaris book?" It was almost embarrassing that my mom knew about it and I did not. I may be getting out of the house more often, but it looks like I still have some catching up to do.

All together now

Today we bought a double stroller -- hotness! It's cute. Silver and powder blue, with all the features I wanted. The main purpose it will serve is to help me lose my baby fat. Not phat, fat. This morning's test run around the neighborhood was quite successful. Olivia napped peacefully in the back seat while Nico enjoyed his view up front. On our little family walk we stopped at one of the playgrounds down the street. When it got too hot, we headed back home and set up the kiddie pool on the deck. An hour of splashing around and we were all relaxed and cooled off. Aaah.

I'm seriously determined to be done with the baby tummy before summer is over. I'm bordering on obsession over it. It's difficult to put into words exactly why, so the best explanation I can give is that I just want to have a nice, fit body again. I'm picking out new workout clothes, and if I can fit the new stroller in my car then this week I'll be able to grab some new running shoes. I already feel better, and I can even feel all my ab muscles again when I do my core workout. Trust me, it's been a looong time since I've felt all my abs. So here I go, off on my fitness quest, with kids in tow.

Brilliant advice

Don't bother cleaning your house. It'll only get messy again. :D

Toughing it out

It's time to say bye bye to binky. Nico never liked the binky at all when he was a newborn. When he started cutting his fifth tooth, though, he really needed something he could bite down on for extended periods of time. He refused all the teething rings and cold washcloths we gave him. One day Frank found a pacifier from the hospital and gave it to Nico, who was delighted to have something just the right size on which to chew. At first he wasn't too attached to it. He just wanted something to chew. But as tooth after tooth came in, he got more and more into it and eventually it was part of our everyday routine.

For the past several months, Nico has been sucking on the paci as he drifts off to sleep. In the morning, he happily trades it in for a sippy of milk. I put the binky on the counter and he gets it back again at bed time. With the transition to the toddler bed, I wanted him to give up the pacifier and most of all I want him broken of the habit so that I don't have a binky-dependent three-year-old on my hands. It's a lot at once, switching beds and stopping the binky, so for now he's back in the crib until he knows the binky is gone for real.

Last night he did great. He fell asleep with no problem, and only whined a couple of times during the night. He woke up at 6:45 this morning and didn't even look around for binky as he walked out in to the living room. Not bad. This afternoon's nap time was a little sketchier. He cried and I held him and explained that the binky is something for little babies to use. And since he is getting bigger, it's time for us to leave the binky behind when we go to sleep. Not that he understood every word, but he always handles things better if there's an explanation. He nodded his head and I rocked him in the chair until we both fell asleep. 20 minutes later I woke up, put him in his crib, and he's been there asleep for the past hour.

I know it's difficult for him, but he's toughing it out and that makes me proud. Outgrowing baby stuff isn't always easy for either one of us. The best I can do is offer an explanation and trust that he'll understand. It's so tempting to give him the binky when he's standing in his crib frustrated and crying. I want to make everything easy for him, but that's not really the best thing. I expect it won't be too long before he forgets all about the paci. After all, there are so many more things to think about in his expanding world.

Baby signs

By doing a little research, I found out that my town's library has a wealth of entertaining and free activities. Especially for kids, which makes me super happy because we really needed something different to try. I signed Nico up for the six week baby sign language class. Today was the first meeting, and we had a blast. There were about 19 kids ranging in age from six to 24 months.

At first Nico was a little shy, but after the first five minutes I couldn't get him to sit still. He was mingling with the other toddlers who had made their way out into the middle of the circle, and then he was going up to the moms, waving and saying hi. He made friends with the little boy, Noah, who was sitting next to us. Lucky Noah even got a hug and a smooch on the cheek when it was time to go. I was really surprised at how easy Nico was around all those kids. There were four infants in a little group, all on their bellies just starting to crawl around, and Nico said hi to them too. He even got down on his belly to get a closer look. Then he went from stroller to stroller, buckling the buckles and reaching for every sippy cup left unattended. Fortunately Olivia was content to lie in her stroller the whole time. She must have known I was pretty busy. She's good that way.

Until next week, we will be practicing our new signs from today's lesson: eat, cereal, drink, milk, bib, yes, and done. Fun, fun, fun!

Workin' out with my secret girlfriend

You all know about my secret boyfriends, Henry Rollins and Anthony Bourdain. Well now I have a secret girlfriend as well. You might be able to guess who it is. Ok I'll say it. It's my "Workout" girl Jackie Warner. I'm not a lesbian like she is, but I can still make her my girlfriend.

I think this is the perfect addition to my pretend love life. When you get into a relationship, there's a certain amount of morphing that happens. You unwittingly take on some of your partner's traits, whether you like it or not. It happens to everyone. And I intend to adopt Jackie's no-nonsense attitude about fitness, as well as her penchant for wearing cute, cute workout clothes and never looking the least bit dumpy. She also seems to have some sort of clarity regarding the business end of her life, and I hope some of that rubs off on me as well. But mostly I'm in it for the looks. My looks. I want to look fit, not fat. Yesterday I did her core training workout, which I found on demand for free. Today I'm a-hurtin', but in a good way. I felt the burn and I'm still a little on fire to be honest with you. But it's all so I can look hot, so it's worth it.

Thug means never having to say you're sorry.

Ok, so I'm not a thug. I'm sorry. I still feel bad about revealing what happenes to U-Turn. The title of my sister's new entry about M. Night Shamalamadingdong's movie promised no spoilers, and I felt a pang of guilt when I read it. You're reading the blog of a person who, just last week, put the carton of soy milk away in the bathroom closet. I found one of the baby's teeny little bootie socks in the fruit bowl on my kitchen counter. No idea how it got there. But there it was, hiding under the bananas. It's like a weird game I set myself up for, like oooh, what will I find in a weird spot today? Oh my gosh, 2 a.m. has crept up on me. No wonder I feel so damn tired. I've got to get to sleep, so I get an early start on putting more crap in the wrong spot tomorrow and forget all about it until next week.

The funk of forty thousand years

Last night I went somewhere I haven't been in a long ass time. The Trocadero. In high school my friends and I went there to dance every weekend. I think it was five dollars to get in, and they played house music and we were happy just to be out in the city, being girls, hanging out, meeting people and having fun. Back then, smoking was still allowed inside the Troc, so that was pretty much what you smelled while you were there. That and sweat, which was actually preferable to the weird moth ball, mildew, old building aroma that filled the venue last night.

To back track a little to yesterday afternoon, I sat down next to Frank on the sofa and asked what he was watching on YouTube. It was something about UFOs and Jesus, and he asked what song I wanted to hear. I couldn't think of one (think? what's that?) so he said ok, what video would you like to watch. I said "Thriller". So he typed it in and a bunch of clips came up in the list. He picked an abbreviated version of it and we giggled as we watched. We talked about how "normal" Michael Jackson was, and about how important music videos were back then.

So yesterday evening we were at the Troc to see my friend Jackie's band. They were awesome, as usual. Far more awesome than the act that followed. I don't remember that band's name, but almost every person I knew there commented on how we all should go because the music was so offensively bad. There was one highlight, though... we were sitting in the balcony debating getting another beer when, odd as can be, this horrible band started playing "Thriller". I shit you not, this group of college frat boys brought out four scantily clad dancing sorority girls and rocked out some Michael Jackson circa 1983. I don't know what the odds are on having a double "Thriller" experience in 2008, but you have to admit it's a pretty funky coincidence.

I thought I recognized your voice

I love it when I'm watching a cartoon and realize there are famous actors doing the voices. Kristin Davis as Miss Spider, Fred Savage as Oswald. And the one I just can't get over, the voice of Henry the Penguin in "Oswald" is done by none other than Squiggy himself. I don't know his real life name, but you know who Squiggy is. And when they have Lenny doing the voice of Henry's cousin it just cracks me up. The combination is totally lost on children, but I love it because it's one of those things the cartoon makers do just for the adults.

My very favorite celebrity cartoon voice is that of Rosie Perez. She is Click the Camera on "Go Diego Go!", but the other day I heard her on "Little Bill" and it was great. I can't remember the character's name, but I can tell you she played Dorado's mom at the beauty parlor. As much as I love hearing the celebs as cartoon characters, once I figure out whose voice it is, all I can see in my head is that person in the recording studio. Always with big headphones on, and always over-acting the part for animation purposes. In my mind, the headphones make Kristin Davis seem uptight, Fred Savage looks at ease, and Squiggy looks even more goofy (and he still has the greasy Squiggy hair). Rosie looks great in the headphones, and she's always wearing jeans and a fitted t-shirt. Hmm... seems like I think a little too much about this... maybe I should watch fewer cartoons.

Sticks and stones

Nico has an affinity for sticks and stones. Today we went to the playground and he went crazy. He especially likes mulch, I think because it's essentially millions upon millions of little sticks. He throws it around by the handful, up into the air and down upon his head, so much so that I'm picking dirt and mini twigs out of his diaper the next time I change him.

When we go out on the porch, Nico insists on tasting at least one of the small river rocks he finds among the potted plants. I don't think he intends to eat them, but he's like Winnie the Pooh with forbidden honey... he just wants to taste it. I still hope he outgrows the putting-things-in-the-mouth phase soon. The fact that he has begun climbing up and down steps gives me hope that he's moving on to bigger and better things. There's less chasing around when it's time to get dressed or change a diaper. The basics seem to have clicked in his mind. It's fun to see what he has picked up on. Every day is truly becoming an adventure. It looks like it's about to rain now, so I'm glad we got outside when we did. Hopefully tomorrow the weather will be nice enough for us to go back and pick up some more sticks, or at least sample the stone buffet on the deck.

It's not like Mr. Rogers

Remember how everyone in Mr. Rogers neighborhood was so polite, so neighborly? It's not like that around here. The smoker (my downstairs neighbor) has two young women (her daughters I believe) living with her. One of them has a little girl who's two years old. I'll admit I'm not the most social person, but when I see a mom with a kid I almost always make chit chat and I always say hello.

Today I was outside with my kids. Nico was playing in the grass and Olivia was napping in her baby chair. The smoker's daughter and granddaughter got out of their minivan, along with smoker's daughter's friend and her baby, who looked to be about a month old. As they passed me, they said not a word until Nico ran over to them. I said, "Hello ladies." This was their subsequent conversation amongst themselves:

Friend: How do he know the house?
Smoker's daughter: I don't know, I jus think he goin' there 'cause he followin' us.
Friend: Oh.

They were inside for about ten minutes and when they were walking back to their car, Nico (and I) followed them to the curb and Nico said hi and waved. Do you think they could at least have said hi to him? Nope. I opened my mouth to ask how old the one girl's baby was, and she didn't even look at me as she walked past. I quickly shut my mouth. This is why I'm joining the local group for stay-at-home-moms. At first it bothered me that the people who live near me are so reluctant to have so much as a conversation with me, but then I thought well they probably just aren't interested. I'm ready to get out there and at least I'm trying, and all I want is to be around other people who are trying, too.

I think my sister is right, it would be so nice to see a return to politeness in general. I'm not asking these people to be my best friend, just to have the courtesy to return my neighborly greeting. If you want to be a jerk and ignore me, that's fine. But I've seen even the grumpiest person on the street put a smile on their face to say hello when a little kid waves to them. If you know I'm your neighbor and you can't even muster the strength to do that, then maybe I shouldn't put in the effort with you anyway.

Get ready to smoke, people!

Less than an hour until the new season of Weeds begins. That's not much time to get a quick shower, make the popcorn, do little stuff around the house to clean up, and settle in for the show. Oh, Nancy, what will you get yourself into this time? And where, now, will you find beverages to carry around all day and drink through a straw?

Other shows whose new seasons I'm excited about (did I write this before... I so can't remember)... Entourage, Flight of the Concords, Californication, and I know there's another one I just can't remember it right now. We spent Father's Day cleaning house. We now have our bedroom put together and it looks AWESOME, and there's so much more space in the living room. It's much more fun to watch TV in a clean, organized house.

Ok, ok, I have to get my shower and start that popcorn. Too scattered to write straight. Too excited about the show.

Good Charlotte

Tonight, after dark, we were loading the recyclables into the Golf when I ran into a few strands of spider web. No biggie, par for the course this time of year. Upon returning to our front step, I noticed a black chunk of something hanging in mid air over the little berry bush next to the door. Didn't take me long to figure out it was a monster mama spider, complete with a giant spider egg-sack booty. Yah! The only thing that freaks me out more than a big spider is a big spider in the dark. After spotting her, I stepped politely indoors before shaking off my icky-chills.

It is all too appropriate that we watched the live action version of "Charlotte's Web" yesterday. I thought, how sweet, it's a good kiddie movie. And that little Wilbur, oh my God, he couldn't be any cuter if he tried. Knowing spiders do more good than harm doesn't stop me from thinking they're forever hatching a plan to scare the bejeezus out of me. I could never bring myself to spray Raid directly onto a Charlotte... but I think tomorrow I may do a little squirt here and there near the front door just to give her a little hint. It would be my way of saying, hello there, neighbor, could I ask you to kindly catch the bugs of the world a little farther from my face, like, say, in that tree across the way? Thaaanks. *big toothy grin*

The Great Depression

I've been so sad all day long. For the first time ever, I paid more than four dollars a gallon for gasoline. $4.07 to be precise. I didn't notice the price until after I had paid, when I looked back to make sure the attendant had taken my credit card out of the slot on the pump and was fixin' to give it back to me. I literally did a double take when I saw all the number 4s. I thought there must be a mistake.

Has it really gotten this far out of control? When I used to drive around with my friends in high school, gas was a dollar a gallon. Had ten dollars in your pocket? You could drive to the shore and back, and still have enough gas for the rest of the week. Today if you have ten dollars, you can buy enough gas to drive to the next gas station. And let's talk about health insurance, shall we? We could buy a new car with what I pay a month just to cover myself. And it's not going to get any cheaper come fall when my COBRA ends and we'll have the full-on "family" plan. Today I told Frank I should just cancel my insurance because it'll save us several hundred dollars. He said no, of course, but I'm still seriously considering it. He has a point, though... one more breast infection and it'll cancel the "savings", between a doctor visit and a prescription for antibiotics. Might as well hang in there.

I'm hopeful that I won't have to endure another near-heart attack at the pump. And speaking of, I'm sure going to miss Tim Russert.

Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain!

Sometimes I feel completely invisible. Just... a little forgotten. A-boo-woo-woo, right? No. It's not a sob story I'm telling, it's just the way I get to thinking from time to time. I spend a lot of my life here, in my home, taking care of the little ones, doing things for the man, running the house. I clean up from one meal or mess and turn around to find it's snack time or there are more blocks all over the living room floor. The days have turned into a progression of meals, snacks, naps, and baths. There is lots of play time, we watch a little tv, and go outside to roll in dirt. In between that it's a blur. I really have to get my shite together.

I am joining the local mommy club, and I have some other plans I'll blab about once I figure everything out. But the club is a start. Nico needs a play group, and we all need to get out of the house. We might be taking Nico to a day care in the area for a couple of days, or even half days, a week. That costs money, though, so we'll see where we get with the mama's group. He doesn't technically need a day care so much as we know he'll really enjoy it. He loves kids and activity. He can't sit still. I can't even get him to park it in front of the tv for more than a half hour anymore, and it's tough to nurse a baby and chase a baby all at once. It's one big give and take, and don't get me wrong, I love it, although I know some kind of organized outings would be great for the three of us.

Anyway, some days I feel completely un-missed by the outside world. I know I'm not the only person on the planet but sometimes that's how it seems. I'm sure it'll get better in the coming weeks. It will help me to remind myself to be a little braver and get myself more involved. That tendency to let one day slip by, then another, then another can trip me up all too easily. Before I know it, the summer will be winding down and I'll still be invisible if I don't get off my duff and do something about it.

*Title is from when Toto pulls back the curtain, exposing the real Wizard.

Woo-hoo!

I do believe I've completed the Wizard of Oz blog challenge! I did miss Sunday, only because of all the hub-bub. I have to admit, it was indeed a challenge. Liz and Jennifer make entries about how they have trouble coming up with things to fill days here and there, and I thought well I write just about every day anyway so this should be no problem for me. Wrong-o! All the lines I ever knew from Wizard of Oz and its soundtrack completely escaped me. Totally blank, I was, half the time. I hope I made my fellow challengettes proud. It's not as easy as it looks.

One of the most fun parts of this past week has been getting comments from my sister and cousin. I was so happy to be invited to join in this challenge... I feel like I'm giving an acceptance speech here, I'm such a nerd... and I love that you both wrote stuff for me to read. Thanks for having me, it was... wonderful!

Poppies...

It's not often that I flat out recommend people watch a television show. I'll ask what you watch, and tell you what I watch, but rarely do I promote anything with any kind of enthusiasm. In the case of "Weeds", though, I always make an exception.

Most of the times I've ever mentioned the show, people have said, oh, that's the one about the soccer mom who deals. True, but there's much more to the show than Mary Louise Parker passing out dimes (she's one of several non-smoking characters, by the way). The other night we caught last season's finale re-run, and it got me so amped for the new episodes (which start on Monday). If you are already a fan, recall with me some highlights (no pun intended)... the trunk full of H in Nancy's laundry room... what happens to U-Turn, and Nancy's subsequent butt tattoo... Nancy and Conrad... disappointed customers at The Man Hole... Celia's baseball bat office smash-up... Shane communicating with Judah... and my all-time fave, the Brick Dance.

I highly recommend you watch this show. Even if you've never so much as smelled the green stuff in person, I'm estimating there's a 90% chance you'll get addicted.

Late note... so sorry for the little spoiler I had in this post earlier... I changed it, too late for some, but hopefully I'll spare at least one person the agony.

*Title is from the Wicked Witch spreading her potion over the field of poppies.

Surrender Dorothy

In recent days I have been planning my future. As much as I live in the moment, I also like to think about where I'm going to be this time next year, or even five or 10 years from now. The older I get, the more I realize there's less time to accomplish what I want to do. And the more I figure myself out, the easier it is for me to try some of the things I've always wanted to do. What's more, I see now that it really doesn't matter when you start to accomplish your goals. The important thing is that you start somewhere. Anywhere. And keep going. Without giving up.

Having to chip away at your goals can be exhausting. Even now, in the beginning of the whole process of figuring out where I want to direct my life, I can tell there will be times when I'll want to surrender to apathy. I wonder if I'm the only person who does that, who invents reasons not to do things. But honestly, I know there's no time for that if I want to be anywhere other than where I am now. As much as I love my life and I love my family, I want to do more. If I can do more for myself, we'll all be better off. Like I said, I have to start somewhere. I'm not going to be at home with the babies forever. Sooner or later (most likely all too soon) I'm going to wake up, and it'll be 10 years from now. And I sure as shite am going to regret wasting those years if I look around and find I still haven't built up my own dreams.

*Title is from the Wicked Witch skywriting over the Emerald City.

And you were there, and you were there...

So I didn't get to write anything yesterday. We were on the go from 7:30 a.m. until we got home around 10 at night. After we got undressed and comfortable in the living room, we got the kids ready for bed and Frank and I ate some Rice a Roni and Swedish meatballs, and we had wedding cake for dessert. Yum yum. I was completely exhausted. I fed Olivia, and we both fell asleep a little after 11:00. This morning I heard the front door close as Frank left for work. I looked at Olivia and she was still sleeping. Twenty minutes later she woke up, and it was another hour and a half before Nico did the same.

Fay and David's wedding was absolutely beautiful. The ceremony, the flowers, the food, the drinks, the dancing, and of course the bride and groom... all perfect. It was nice to see so many familiar faces. In the bridal party we all graduated from the same high school within a year or two of each other, and everyone still knew each other from staying friends with Fay or David over the years. I think it's remarkable that so many people can stay friends for so long. A lot of people can come and go from your life without much ado, so it feels really nice to go to an event like a wedding and have a whole day to be around people who like being around each other.

One of my favorite moments of the whole day was when I bumped into Jen upstairs during the reception. The kids were with our hubbies and parents, so we ran to the bar for Cosmos and wound up having our own fun little adventures together. Right now Fay is probably half way to Italy for her honeymoon. I still have the picture in my head of her and David roaring down Market Street on his motorcycle with their "Just Married" sign, and cans on strings trailing behind. Days like yesterday remind me that life is what you make of it. You don't have to be a millionaire to appreciate your time on this earth. All you need is to be able to look around you and see the people you love, and everything else is cake.




*Title is from when Dorothy wakes from her dream at the end of the movie.

What makes the muskrat guard his musk?

Call me silly, but I cannot believe how hot it is outside. The instant I stepped out the door this morning, I was awash with sweat. Not a gentlelady-like dewy perspiration. Buckets. Last night at rehearsal I was kinda hot. Tonight we are going to my niece Ashley's graduation and confirmation party which will undoubtedly be held at least partially outdoors, where we'll be steaming. And tomorrow we'll all be drenched to the nines in our formal attire. I didn't realize the ceremony would be outdoors, or I would have gotten Nico a tux with shorts. Actually, Fay probably mentioned this detail a hundred times, but I can't remember shite anymore. I was honest to God shocked to hear tomorrow's forecast. 97 degrees. Yowza!

So I'm thinkin' there'll be some stinkin'. It doesn't make a difference how well mannered you are, there's no way around it once the temperature soars to near triple digits. But the way I see it, it's fine as long as we're all in it together. We're all family, so if anything it'll be entertaining rather than embarrassing. Anyone I'm going to be hanging out with tomorrow, I've already either pecked on the cheek in a bathing suit or hugged drunk at a party. Most of the guests will be too loaded to care how anyone smells, and that's the way it should be. I'm planning on breaking out my super special Tom's of Maine Honeysuckle deodorant. It is, after all, a special occasion. You know you're important when I put on deodorant for you.

*Blog title from "If I Were King of the Forest".

We wish to welcome you to Munchkinland

It is an honor and a privilege to be included in the "Wizard of Oz" blog-a-thon. My sister and cousin Jennifer pick different themes (Rocky Horror, 80's songs, etc.) and blog every day of the chosen week using different lyrics as their titles, relating their posts to said titles. I'm stoked.

As you know, the majority of my time and thoughts have become occupied with children. My kids don't have many buddies yet, but there are three very sweet girls who Nico and Olivia get to spend special time with -- Jen's kids. Well, Olivia hasn't met them in person yet, she's only heard them from inside the belly. But one of the girls is already her BFF. This weekend we're going to be spending a bunch of time with all of them (yay!) because of Fay's wedding. Jen and I are bridesmaids, her oldest is the flower girl, and Nico is the ring bearer. Tonight we have the rehearsal and dinner, then the wedding on Sunday. She'll have three kids tonight and two on Sunday, and I'll have Nico tonight and both kids at the wedding.

Jen and I have been chatting all week trying to prep for all the activity. Today it's late naps and bring lots of snacks. Rehearsal is at 6:30 tonight, followed by appetizers and dinner at 7:30 and 8:00 respectively. My son goes to bed by 8, so this should be interesting. Jen's bringing her whole gang, and one of her chat lines yesterday was, "dinner should be very entertaining." Indeed. We're the only bridesmaids with kids, and, well, let's just say their needs haven't really been fully considered in this whole shebang. When people don't take that into account, especially when the kids have to 'perform', it can be a little stressful and you have to be that much more on your toes with the planning. Nonetheless, we've got a smart bunch and they are all pretty flexible. For tonight I'm packing extra hugs and extra cheesy poofs. And a special surprise... a new Diego soccer sippy cup.

The wedding day will be a big time crunch. There's no wiggle room between one part of the day and the next. Bride's house straight to ceremony straight to pictures back to venue for cocktails/tea ceremony into dinner and dancing then bouquet toss from groom's motorcycle as Mr. and Mrs. ride off into the city skyline. All in one breath, just like that. I can't help but smile thinking about another one of my girlfriends becoming a wife. She's going to have a great life with her new hubby. One day when they have munchkins of their own, they'll understand why Jen and I have had to ask them so many questions regarding the kids so we can make it as smooth a ride as possible. I can't wait to see what Nico's going to do on the big day. I think he'll be the best ring bearer ever in his tiny tuxedo and big boy dressy shoes.

*Blog title is from "Munchkinland Musical Sequence"

I had a great teacher

One of the things I remember from my childhood was this one time where my mom said the word 'sacrifice' and I asked her what that meant. She explained that it was giving up something you have, something you like, for someone you love. For instance if she had ice cream, and I wanted that ice cream, she would be happy to give it to me. Of course I would be happy to take it, unless it was in a cone and she smooshed it down with her tongue and licked around the top of the cone to clean up what was dripping down the sides -- am I right, Liz? Haha. Mom, I'm kidding. Did I ever refuse a smooshed-down cone from you? I would never.

Today I was feeding Nico yogurt in the kitchen. I had just shared my breakfast burrito with him, and when he saw me open a strawberry-banana yogurt he went mmmMMMmmmm... so not only did I feed most of it to him, I also gave him all the strawberry chunks without thinking twice. And I thought of my mom, and all the important words she taught me, like love, kindness, bear hugs, and sacrifice. They're all coming in quite handy now that I'm raising my own little ice cream eaters. (say it like Nico) mmmMMMmmmm...

Under... where?

I don't believe I've been journaling my progress on the task of finding decent nursing bras. I'm sure you're thrilled that I'm about to share. You can finally stop holding your breath. I know you've been dying to hear.

I originally planned to stick with nursing tanks exclusively. Then, by accident, I saw Victoria's Secret had maternity-type bras with the handy dandy snap-down cups. Cool, I thought, until I started doing closer examinations on the web images. Nursing bras, for those who have yet to purchase such delights, are constructed in such a way that there is either a tailored strip of material on the side of the cup, or a peek-a-boo type of arrangement surrounding each breast. Either way, the front material that covers the breast connects to the strap via a small clip. When it's time to feed the baby you just un-clip it, fold down the cup, and voilá. Instant milk machine.

Much to my amazement, Vicky's has overlooked a key factor in their construction. Ideally, you don't want these to actually look like nursing bras. Their styles, especially the lace ones, have the "maternity" aspects so poorly concealed that I'd rather endure a regular bra than be seen with my boobie holdy material in clear view. Further insulting me is the fact that the decent styles start at size 38B or larger. Um, hello Victoria, but I believe it's no secret that all sizes of women need nursing bras. Ever hear of a 36? I know you have, bee-otch. You have clearly dropped the bee-ball.

Other attempts to purchase my bras were just as fruitless... they were either hideous, hideous, or completely butt fugly unfashionably hideous. I had all but given up when, last night, I found the maternity rack in the Target undies section. I had bought tanks there when I had Nico so I knew they had a decent selection, but when I looked a few weeks ago I couldn't find anything. I either walked right past it or just wasn't in the right spot. You know how I am these days. Anyway, find the bras, I did. And overjoyed, I was. Dare I call them... pretty? Yes! Pretty! I got a white one, a black one, and a flesh-tone as well. And I got two tanks (with improved construction), one black and one gray. It's an understatement to say I feel like a new person. I'm motivated to dress in real clothing as opposed to spending all day in my bath robe. Today I have on make-up and an outfit and I did my hair, and I haven't even gone anywhere yet. I'm instituting a new saying, that what's under the clothes helps make the woman. When you have nice undies, you just feel more lovely. Even though my new bras are multi-taskers, in my mind they are the best thing that has happened to my self esteem all week.

The salad tosser

I have wanted a salad spinner for about eight months. Many stores carry them, but they always seem overpriced. $35 to $40 seems like way too much to me. Finally at IKEA I found one that cost about $5, and we used it today for the first time. The salad was excellent without all that water hanging around on the lettuce. It really made a difference, as cheesy as it sounds.

Several times since I bought the spinner, Frank has busted on me for it. He's a believer now, after tonight's dinner, but he keeps calling it the salad tosser. It just cracks me up for some reason, so I just had to share.

Wakey Wakey

I've reached a certain point of sleeplessness. It's 5 a.m. I've slept about 45 minutes total all night. Olivia is sleeping in ten-minute bursts, then crying. She is easily rocked back to sleep, or eats for ten seconds before drifting off. But it doesn't last long. I'm so sick of playing her game that I decided to make her play my game instead.

My game is called Wakey Wakey. Here's how we play: Olivia falls asleep. Not long after that, she wakes up. Then she cries. I ask her to please, please f*cking go back to sleep and she ignores me. I pick her up and she falls back to sleep. When I lay back down and she wakes back up, I turn on all the lights in the room and say, "Ok, wakey wakey! You wanna be awake? Let's be awake!" She seemed pretty mad at first, now she's just sitting there sucking on the back of her hand. I'm not falling for the "feed me" trick again, and she wants nothing to do with a binky. Stretch this back and forth over the past (I'm not joking) seven hours and that's how you get to where we are now.

So here we are playing Wakey Wakey. I'm about to fix myself a too-early breakfast, and right now for all I care she can continue to sit there wondering why all the lights are on. I'm about to snap. All I want to do is leave a bottle on the counter with a note saying "Please feed baby. Thanks." but we all know I'm not going to do that. All I have to do now is decide whether I want to make eggs or have a bowl of Kix.